Vyeshev / וישב

This is a weekly series of frum, trans, anarchist parsha dvarim [commentaries]. It's crucial in these times that we resist the narrative that Zionism owns or, worse, is Judaism. Our texts are rich—sometimes opaque, but absolutely teeming with wisdom and fierce debate. It's the work of each generation to extricate meaning from our cultural and religious inheritance. I aim to offer comment which is true to the source material (i.e. doesn't invert or invent meaning to make it more comfortable for us) and uses Torah like a light to reflect on our modern times.

Content note: Discussion of sex work and violence against sex workers; rape by deception; mention of slavery. No graphic descriptions.

Yōsef's has prophetic dreams about his impending success; I have anxious dreams about breaking Shabos. The story of Yōsef's brothers plotting to kill him and then selling him into (pleasant?) slavery is rich and disturbing, but I'm going to focus on the interlude story of Vyeshev: Tomor stealing sperm from Yehuda and the case for decriminalizing sex work.

Tomor is the first undeniable sex worker in Torah (arguably Soreh and Dinoh could be considered sex workers, but that's not clear from the text.) Not only is Tomor a sex worker, but she's presented as an entirely righteous woman.

Tomor is entitled to marry Yehuda's son, but Yehuda doesn't arrange it, so Tomor deceives Yehuda through "harlotry" and becomes pregnant. Sex work is a means to an end, and though it is initially presented as beneath her status and she is about to be burnt alive for it, she remains righteous and does not shame Yehuda, even in the face of death.

Yehuda had three sons; the eldest, Er, married Tomor, but was struck dead by Hashem for his unspecified wickedness. Tomor married her brother-in-law, Yehuda's second son Ōnon, but he too was killed by Hashem for the sin of "spilling his seed on the ground" rather than impregnating her.From this we derive the excellent word onanism (Rashi says this is also Er's sin). Yehuda had one final son, Shelo, who wasn't grown yet; he promised Tomor that she can marry Shelo when he's ready. Yehuda never followed through; when Yehuda's wife died and he went on a little grief vacation to Timno, Tomor dressed as a harlot and covered her face in a veil. She deceived Yehuda, who did not recognize her, into sex, and becomes pregnant.There is definitely more to say here about sperm, but that's for another dvar. Today I'm focusing on harlotry.

Ok let's talk a little bit more about sperm.In researching the parsha I found this short article, Sperm Stealing: a moral crime by three of David's ancestresses" (2001) by Shlomith Yaron for the Biblical Archeology Society, an organization of questionable repute:

The Bible describes three cases of “sperm stealing,” incidents in which women seduce a man and make him an unwitting sperm donor. And all three instances involve an ancestor of David, ancient Israel’s great hero-king. [My note: the three instances are Lot's daughters and Lot; Tomor and Yehuda; and Rus and Boaz]

Sperm stealing is a fact of human life as old as the most ancient civilizations and as contemporary as modern single women who decide that their marital status should not bar them from becoming mothers. We have examples of sperm stealing from the literature of ancient Sumer and ancient Greece. I suspect that if the reader does not personally know of a woman who has seduced a man into unknowingly fathering a child, it would not take many inquiries to learn of one who did.

I'm not sure that I agree with Yaron's assessment on the pervasiveness of sperm-stealing, but it's interesting that it's presented as a "moral crime".

When Tomor becomes pregnant, Yehuda is told that she must have been a harlot; he responds by calling for her to be burnt. Even though she has proof that it was Yehuda who impregnated her and she's facing certain death, she avoids naming him explicitly lest she bring shame upon him.

Under the pressures of shame, the desire not to kill his unborn child, and possible a desire to do the right thing, Yehuda comes forward and declares that she had acted more righteously than him. Tomor is released and bears twins.

This year Vyeshev coincides with International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers (December 17). Most people don't become "harlots" for personal revenge, but to meet their basic needs under capitalism. Sex workers face not only violence from clients and social stigma, but in most countries their work is criminalized either directly or indirectly. Direct criminalization includes laws against brothel-keeping, curb-crawling and solicitation, and the exchange of money for sex. When sex work is criminalized, it doesn't stop people from selling sex; it just makes it more dangerous. Anti-sex work laws are also a convenient way for police to harass people "suspected" of being sex workers—especially trans women of color—and charging them for wearing high heels and carrying condoms in their purses. Not only do lots of queers do sex work; anti-sex work legislation directly hurts "civvie" queers who don't.

Indirect criminalization is more insidious, sometimes appearing on the surface to help sex workers: criminalizing clients.Also called the "Nordic model". Places which follow the Nordic model include Sweden, Norway, Israel, Canada, the North of Ireland, Iceland, France, and Maine. But in criminalizing clients, sex workers are harmed. If it's illegal to hire a hooker, then it's harder to find clients, and those clients have more power over the worker in making demands, pushing boundaries, and refusing to give deposits or information for background checks. The clients willing to take the risk are also more likely to be dangerous.

Other forms of indirect criminalization include banning advertising online or in person, dubbing third parties who support the worker (like security or drivers) as "pimps", laws that prevent landlords from taking money "obtained through prostitution" or "profiting" from prostitution, and anti-loitering laws.

When sex work is criminalized, it not only increases stigma and fuels discrimination—it also prevents sex workers from organizing for their own labor rights, and makes it impossible for them to use legal channels to seek justice against clients or managers who hurt them. In my experience as a former sex worker and sex worker activist, the most dangerous clients are police, completely collapsing the fictitious separation between the state and the violence sex workers face.

There's an important distinction between the decriminalization of sex work—the demand the most sex workers have—and legalization. Decriminalization is what it sounds like: removing all crimes relating to sex work from legislation so that workers can work without oppression from police raids or fear of legal reprisal for reporting violent clients or bosses. Legalization makes sex work legal only under specific circumstances which are (deliberately) undesirable to workers. For example, in some counties in Nevada, sex work is legalized. But, to do it legally, you must adhere to a very narrow and frankly oppressive set of laws, working out of licensed brothels with a curfew. Any sex worker who works independently, or misses curfew, is breaking the law. Legalization is just another way for the state to harass, steal from, imprison, and deport sex workers.

Tomor leverages her respectability, which is one very useful tactic among many. We need a diversity of tactics. Calmly and articulately explaining the merits of decrim compared to the demerits of criminalization and legalization is one prong of attack, which works best alongside more spiky actions like occupying a church. Tomor shows us that we can take direct action, leveraging or even weaponizing our bodies not to demand but take what we are owed. Even deception is sanctioned as righteous when people in power withhold what is rightfully ours.

Sometimes public shaming works. But it's a tool we use far too often on the left, especially when we're punching down or sideways. We should direct that energy toward our oppressors! What are we collectively entitled to that we are being denied? How can we take it?

Further reading: my friends and fellow sex work activists in London Juno Mac and Molly Smith wrote the book on the case for decrim. Ask your local bookstore to get you a copy! Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers’ Rights (2018). When last I heard, they were donating their proceeds to SWARM, a sex-worker led collective that does lobbying, education, and mutual aid.